TOW the fake boyfriend is so much more
by spiralnebulaM31
Summary: Pre Mondler cuteness mixed with doubts, fears and maybe too much thinking by both Monica and Chandler. It takes place in season 4, after TOW all the haste. First part in Monica's point of view, second part in Chandler's.


**A.N.: Another tumblr prompt about a fake relationship. It was supposed to be an AU, but it turned out to be something like a missing plot; I just couldn't get this out of my mind. The first part is written on Monica's point of view and the second on Chandler's. There's no other way to thank my anonymous reviewers in the one-shots and since I wrote two other one-shots lately, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate all the reviews :)****  
**

-X-

I storm into my apartment and find Rachel and Chandler sprawled on each end of the couch, watching Joey rehearsing lines probably for another audition. It isn't either one's favorite past time activity and, judging from their nonchalant expressions, Joey must have made them do it, the insecurities about his acting skills taking the best of him every time he reads bad reviews or meets a very talented actor.

"Chandler, I'm so glad you're here!" I sprinted to the couch and sit on the armrest next to him.

"Hey! I'm trying to work here!" Joey sounds annoyed. Script still in hand, he moves naturally to the fridge.

"And by the way, Mon, _we_ are also here, not only Chandler." Rachel says teasingly, grabbing a magazine and sinking further into the couch.

I roll my eyes and scoot closer to Chandler, clinging on his arm. I feel his body awakening all of a sudden with an imperceptible jerk and I have his full attention. He turns his head to me and I grin down on him.

"I need a favor." I tell him, sliding my fingertips along his arm. I know I don't need to be such a woman when I'm asking him for something, but I actually enjoy the action, so I keep stroking his arm lightly. I'm not sure, but I think I can feel tiny goosebumps through his body.

"What is it?" He is looking at me so seriously and I can't help but get lost in his eyes. I don't really understand why, but he usually does whatever he can when I need help. Well, I would do anything for him, too.

"There's this new guy from work that won't stop hitting on me. He knows where I hang out and I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up." Chandler raises his eyebrows questioningly and I continue. "Could you be my fake boyfriend if he shows up?" I ask and expect nothing but a positive answer. That's why I'm taken aback when he jumps up from the couch and away from my touch.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that." It's all he says before he begins to walk towards the door.

Rachel's eyes shoot up from her magazine curiously. Joey is staring at us from the kitchen. Chandler has just denied helping me and this is anything but usual.

"What? Why not?" I ask, confused and too surprised by his behavior, unable to move from my seat on the armrest. "It's not like we haven't done this before…"

Once the last sentence is out of my mouth, Chandler finally stops, his head turning back to me. "If I remember correctly, it was a few months ago when you told me I wasn't boyfriend material. As far as I'm concerned I'm still the immature guy who peed on you. I'm not going to do it, Mon."

His voice is calm and it doesn't match the hurt I can see in his eyes. He glances quickly at Rachel and then Joey who are staring at him wide eyed and bashfully goes out of the door. I am left in my place on the armrest, trying to comprehend the meaning behind all this.

Moments later, Rachel has come closer to where I'm still immobilized and I can feel her looking at me when Phoebe gets in.

"What's with the heavy atmosphere? Monica, your aura is really murky today."

I would expect nothing different from Phoebe. It's so weird that she can really sense what we feel most of the time, but I know she intends to do us no harm. I simply sigh and convince myself to calm down. The whole situation is nobody's fault but mine anyway, so I don't want to drag everyone into this.

"She wants Chandler to be her fake boyfriend to help her turn someone down, but he won't do it." Rachel says as Phoebe sits in the armchair. I glance sharply at Rachel for a moment, but let it drop immediately. Phoebe wouldn't stop asking about what happened and I'm relieved it's already out of the way. Maybe I should tell them I don't want to talk about it. Maybe I should have asked Chandler in private.

"Why?" Phoebe asks incredulously.

"He said that he doesn't want to do it-" Rachel again, but this time she gets interrupted by Phoebe.

"No, I mean why doesn't Monica want to go out with that guy?" Phoebe turns to me. It's so great when your friends talk about you like you're not in the room. At least now she's acknowledging that I'm here. "You haven't had sex in… months!"

"Thanks, Pheebs." I say with the most sarcastic tone I can manage and roll my eyes. I know that such comments sound mean to me at the moment, even though this wasn't supposed to be their true nature. Instead of snapping at both of my friends without a plausible reason, I begin walking towards my bedroom. "I have a headache; I'm going to lie down."

Phoebe and Rachel are left in the living room to exchange worried glances, while Joey focuses on his meal again. At least that's what I saw before I closed my bedroom door behind me. Deep inside I know they must be worried about both me and Chandler, but I can't deal with this right now. All I can think about is the hurt I saw in Chandler's eyes before he left. I'm not sure I can deal with this either. Seeing him like that breaks my heart. This time I'm the reason he feels that way instead of being his main source of comfort, like it usually happens between us. He lets me cry on his shoulder, then makes me laugh. I let him be cranky and serious, then make him find his normal sarcastic self again.

Oh, my God, what have I done? I don't know where all this came from. Was he that hurt when I told him he wasn't boyfriend material? I didn't think he was serious about it anyway. Did he keep that awful feeling to himself all this time?

I lie on my bed and try to get comfortable against the pillows. I'm really close with all my friends, but what kills me inside is any possible awkwardness between me and Chandler, something that rarely exists. That's why I have no idea what to do now. I'll see how things are later and try to reassure him how much he means to me. He should be certain of my affection towards him by now, but he's usually so insecure that he needs to hear it once in a while.

"Mon, phone! It's Patrick from work." I hear Rachel's voice from the living room.

"Rachel!" I yell angrily. "That's who I'm trying to avoid. Just tell him I can't talk right now."

I can't believe this! What do I have to do for him to understand I'm not interested? Phoebe is right; I haven't had sex in a long time. But I'm tired of meaningless dates, awkward morning afters and unfamiliar uncomfortable kisses. I just want something real. I need the next time I sleep with someone to mean something. I want it to mean everything.

Thoughts of that weird guy are slowly being replaced by the image of Chandler sitting alone in his chair across the hall and my heart aches for him, while sleep is gradually coming to soothe my exhausted body.

-X-

**Later that day…**

I sit in my favorite chair watching TV. I have no idea what's on the TV though. It's on, but I can't bring myself to pay attention to it. My mind's filled with fears and doubts and self-loathing. Maybe I shouldn't say no to Monica. Like she said, it's not like we haven't done this before anyway. It started accidentally a couple of years ago when she wanted to prove to one of her colleagues that she indeed had a boyfriend. Of course she didn't and I happened to be there. One thing had led to another and we ended up pretending a little every time a similar situation emerged. It was nothing too significant, really. Only a few endearments, some gentle touches… Nothing we don't normally do as friends. I guess all those things combined give people the impression that we are a couple.

She even did it for me once. I remember being too hesitant to ask her, but when I finally did, she immediately accepted. That was before the beach trip and the whole me-not-being-boyfriend-material. Now that I know it's all a simple act for her, I don't want to do it. It took a while to convince myself that it was okay to be just the guy who peed on her. My hot neighbor who happens to be my best friend doesn't find me mature enough to be her boyfriend. Big deal. That was easy to foretell actually. I'm way out of her league and I've learned to live with that. I thought helping each other that way was something we both enjoyed though. Even if the situations we put ourselves through weren't ideal, it was something we did together and I can't recall anything we don't enjoy when we do it together. At least that goes for me. Maybe Monica doesn't feel the same way after all.

Suddenly, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing in front of me, their faces full of worry. Apparently, they've been calling my name for some time now and I wasn't listening to what was happening to the world around me.

"What?" I ask them calmly.

"Are you okay?" Monica asks and even a deaf person could probably hear the concern in her voice.

"I'm fine."

"We're going to get some coffee. Are you coming with us?" Rachel asks, looking hopeful.

"I don't think so." I answer simply, putting some kind of distance between me and the three of them with the cold tone of my voice. As I notice the looks on their faces changing to utter apprehension, I realize that once again I've shown my stupid self, my true self.

They leave the apartment, Monica being the last one at the door, a million unsaid things shadowing her face as she locks eyes with me for just a moment.

"Crap." I say out loud and stand up abruptly. I make a move towards the door, but mentally curse myself and stop. I pace back and forth across the room a few times, running my hand through my hair.

They care about me. They all do. I'm sure about it and I don't know why I behave like an idiot sometimes and I don't want to believe it. Someday I've got to learn to be loved. All my friends have done so much for me during the last few years and still, it's hard for me to realize that this is my life now, that they're always here. In fact, they're here even more than a person could ask for from their friends. They're not regular friends. They're my family.

They all care about me, but Monica is an entirely different story. Sometimes I could melt just by looking into her eyes. The connection we share is incredible. I know she feels it, too. I may share a lot of guy things with Joey, like watching Baywatch and playing foosball, but if someone asked me about my best friend I wouldn't hesitate to tell them it's Monica. Maybe it's because we've let our guards down so many times in the presence of each other. Maybe it's because we just get each other. She might have claimed that I was always going to be the guy who peed on her, but her actions do show me otherwise.

I decide I've done a lot of thinking for one day. Are guys supposed to think that much? The last thing I want is to begin turning into a woman again. I shudder at the thought and head to the coffeehouse.

Once I enter Central Perk, I notice Monica talking with a guy. Well, it's looks more like the guy is talking and all she's doing is looking for ways to avoid him. _Oh, my God. _It's the guy she didn't want to go out with. They're standing by the edge of the couch. Monica's back is turned against the door and so are Phoebe's and Rachel's backs, who are sitting on the couch trying not to lose a moment from what's happening. I can see Monica's fingers fiddling with the back of the couch and her posture shows how uncomfortable she is. Maybe a regular observer couldn't have figured this out, but I can. That's also how I realized who that guy is.

Without thinking too much about it, I take a couple of long steps and I'm standing right behind her at the exact moment he asks her to go out with him tonight. I make a disgusted face when Monica feels my presence and turns to look at me. I wink at her and she tries to hide her grin. The guy looks up at me and I slide my arm around Monica's waist.

"Hey." She says casually leaning up to give me a light peck on the cheek. We're _us_ again. I should never have doubted that we were still us.

"Hey. I don't think we've met. I'm Chandler, Monica's boyfriend." I extend my hand towards the guy, giving him my best deathly stare and pulling Monica closer to me at the same time. In response, she grabs the hand that's holding her waist, keeping it right there.

The guy's face changes several colors until it becomes a strange shade or red. He ignores my outstretched hand and stutters his way out. All of a sudden, Monica's arms are around my neck and she's holding me tightly. I swear, if I didn't know any better, I would think she was trying to kill me. The lyrics "I just died in your arms tonight" flow through my mind and at this moment such a way to die sounds nothing but pleasant. I roll my eyes at my incredibly clichéd thoughts and I just hold her and stroke her back for a while. She whispers "thanks" into my ear and my grip becomes even tighter than hers for a moment. She doesn't seem eager to let go, so I give her shoulders a little nudge and we're still standing in a tight embrace, only now we can also look into each other's eyes.

"Chandler, I wanted to tell you that you're so much more-"

I give her a kiss on the forehead and, as I suspected, it's the right way to silence her.

"I know." I say, my lips moving against her forehead, and she sighs.

"You guys!" We both jump at the sound of Rachel's voice. We turn to look at our forgotten friends on the couch and they both have huge grins on their faces.

"Can we join the hug?" Phoebe asks and she doesn't wait for an answer before moving towards us. Rachel follows and I feel like I'm surrounded by so much love. Half a minute later, I hear Joey's excited voice saying "Ross! Come quickly! Group hug!"

In the next second, two more bodies join our insanity and I'm wondering if life can get any better than this.


End file.
